My graduation work is the end product of my research on digitalisation of self as observed on social media, contrasted against the fantasies of my childhood inspired by various toys and merchandise. It consists of two video installations, as well as a performance. The first video titled "Decentered Self" addresses the process of forming one's identity on the Internet and invites the viewer to question whether the online world offers a platform to express "alternative selves" or rather, it leads to a split in one's personality. The second video is a series of visuals that reference the world of childhood fantasies such as toys, fairytales, online games, making a backdrop for a performance that plays out in front of it. In this work, the performers become live sculptures, frozen in one pose making the viewer question whether they are real people. Their costumes suggest that they are the physicalis­ed versions of my own virtual avatar, a digital reference to the "self". In the performance, my physical body is not literally pre­sent, but my image reoccurs in many elements of the costumes. In this way, my double role in this work, as both the maker and the subject, reflects the process of crea­ting and maintaining an online presence on social media.

Artist statement

I am a visual artist working in a variety of mediums: predominantly video, installation, and performance. Within my practice, I reuse and sample self-made symbols through which I form narratives. The starting point of my works is digital, but often takes on a physical form, in attempt to highlight the blurred line between the physical and virtual realities. My work is influenced by Internet cul­ture and aesthetics, as well as 90s/early-2000s children's toys and media, as seen through the lens of my own experiences of forming a sense of self in the digital era. While the theme of Reality vs Fan­tasy is at the center of my works, I also play with the repetition and fabrication of the self-image, in attempt to question the relation of self to other. With my artistic research, I intend to reflect on my ex­perience forming identity in the ever-changing cyber world that presents itself as a promise, but at the same time also as a threat in our collective vision for the future. I strive for my viewer to relate to these topics not in the matter-of-factly fashion that we are used to discussing them in, but in a rather personal, emotionally-enga­ging way.

Ambitions

Moving on from the academy, I hope to further my practice both theoretically and practically. Finding the right balance between physical and digital works is a challenge that I want to continue to find solutions for. I would like to collaborate on projects with makers across different fields - musicians, actors, filmmakers, animators, dancers, writers.

Learned during the studies

It is often said that art is the mirror of society, but I think that more importantly art is the mirror of the artist. One cannot create for others if they do not create for themselves.

List of publications / exhibitions / prices / concerts / shows etc.

"Metamorphosis", Sexyland, Amsterdam 2022
"Beats in the Woods", NAR Cafe der Kunsten, Utrecht, 2022
"Internationale Vrouwendag", NAR Cafe der Kunsten, Utrecht 2022
"Astroworld: Exit Rourism", KUN Art Museum, Beijing 2021
"HIT THE CURB", Ekko, Utrecht, 2021
"Time Reveals: 沉淀", Bridge Art Gallery, Beijing 2018

Adultified Fantasies

The thesis explores the role of fantasy in one's formation of self as it delves into the phantasmic worlds of toys from my own childhood confronted against the subsequent emergence of social media and digitalisation. I'd like to invite the reader to ask themselves whether the online world offers a sense of wholeness and a missing piece of lost childhood fantasies, or rather it contributes to a rapture in one's understanding of self.